Zettai Kareshi/Absolute Boyfriend ~ Manga ~ Yuu Watase ~ Thoughts & Reflections

I Bloody HATE Yuu Watase ! that woman is doing this to me again and again in everyone of her stupid mangas! first she goes and kills of Nuriko and I cry for days just thinking about it, then she kills Hotohori as well T_______T........ then in Ayashi no Ceres in the end Tooya had to disappear and Yuuhi to take his place as the guy who'd be with Aya forever... I didn't hate Tooya T__T I was sad for Yuuhi but it didn't really had to turn out in Tooya disappearing without even getting to see his baby grow up... or to even see it being born T___T I cried all night that night when I read that dammed final chapter T__T

AND NOW SHE'S GONE AND KILLED OFF NIGHT !!! I HATE THIS WOMAN !!! I must be some sort of an idiot to be awake all night reading her stupid work even though I know it was gonna make me cry so bad that I shake and choke! it's 5:30 AM my time and I been up the whole dammed night reading Zettai Kareshi... I thought finally she could be happy with Night... I was feeling extremely sorry for Soushi but... this didn't have to end this way... she could've ended him up as a human or at least done something that would give a good happy ending... BUT NOOOOOOOOOOOOO the sadistic woman would not give me a happy ending T_____T what the hell am I doing at this hour of the night crying like an idiot T______T BUT THIS IS SOOOOOOOOOO DAMN WRONG !!!!!!!!!!!!! Night didn't have to die... T___T fine Soushi loved her all along and Night was just a figure... but even still... he did love her a lot too... *there now I'm starting to cry badly again* and the part when Soushi told her about Night's letter and where Night's face appeared saying "don't cry anymore" waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa I could just die !!!!!!! this is way more painful than I thought !! I BLOODY HATE YUU WATASE WHAT THE HELL IS THAT WOMAN THINKING REDUCING MY LIFE LIKE THIS !!!!!! T______T I don't think I'll ever be able to forget this manga... I hate Yuu Watase... she so knows how to really really capture a person's heart and make them feel just what the character is feeling... I'm not gonna review this manga... this will be my only review of it... if you wanna find out more just go and fine it, it's available on One Manga and you can read it online, otherwise torrent it like did... It's one of Yuu Watase's best work.... Fushigi Yuugi, Ayashi no Ceres and now this... no matter how much I hate this woman, I admire her soul more than anything... the way she's able to show people's feelings... in a way that it makes a person think of the characters as if they're real.... that's truly admirable...

I've learnt every possible way... love is just so painful... and still everyone loves... sometimes I have to ask myself "was it really worth all this pain all this time?" and then I feel from inside... yeah... it really was... I guess... one has to go through it to really feel the pain and the joy... I suppose I wouldn't have been able to feel that pain that grief that comes when you lose someone important if I hadn't lost my most important person... I wouldn't have been able to understand any one's feelings... the gentleness... the kindness... the warmth... the little things that don't matter to anyone but the people who're experiencing it... I'm grateful... if I'm able to connect with people now... if I'm able to truly relate to everyone to really feel their sadness or joy in my heart it's because of that one person who made me believe who made me understand... arigatou... because you showed me the way... because you guided me through it all... all because of you... all beacue you were there... arigatou... hontouni arigatou...

Ayashi No Ceres ~ Manga ~ Reflection Thoughts & Memories... contd...

Chapter 76... they killed Shuro... I'm crying terribly... uncontrolablly... I cannot... I cannot stop hurting... this is just too painful... I feel chocked... I wish... I wish... Shuro... I wish she could have lived... even if she wanted to go to where Kei is... I wish she could've lived.................

I miss my friends... you guys... you supporeted me and helped me and encouraged me... I miss you all... so much...

Ayashi No Ceres ~ Manga ~ Reflection Thoughts & Memories... contd...

Chapter 70 Done... I hate you Yuu Watase... Kirai da yo... daikirai... you killed Tooya... how could you... just when she was going to have his baby... and Chidori... that was so cold... I have a lot of projects going, I should be working on them... but all day even in fever I have been up reading Ayashi no Ceres... it's like a spell on me... I hate Yuu Watase... fisrt Fushigi Yuugi... now Ayashi no Ceres... it's like... it becomes a part of me... I can feel those things... I can feel that pain... I cry when they cry... how silly I am... feeling so much over someone's fragments of imaginations... but the feelings... they're so true......... Tamahome.......... Tamahome.........

Ayashi No Ceres ~ Manga ~ Reflection Thoughts & Memories... contd...

Now going to chapter 61... Tooya rescued her, I was desperetly hoping that Alex wasn't bad sigh... at least that turned out well... fantasy or reality... I don't know... something like that cannot exsist in reality, a part of a person's dream a fraction of thoughts a moment of memories... all unreal... but still... the feeling carries on... starnge, how we can dream someone else's dream... feel that pain and cry along... perhaps it's because a wounded heart responds to others better than one who's never experanced any deep pain... I always try to help those in love, so my story won't get repeated... no one... no one deserves to lose the one most important thing in their lives... no matter how bad they are, no matter what crimes they've committed... there's always, always a chance to return to who they really are... to be able to love... we're lucky... to be able to love... with all we got... with all our life... for all eternity... you never really lose one you love... no matter how far apart you are... I beleive... no matter how far... I can always always love you... and I know the feeling can reach even if you don't know what it is... I wanted to be there for you... I wanted to be the one who could be the on for you... I wanted... I just wanted to be able to be by your side forever... no matter how much it hurts... I'll always hold onto that dream... no matter how much I change... no matter how far you are... even if my voice can't reach you... everytime... every night... I'll pray for you... I'll call your name... even if you cannot hear me... I know... in my heart... I was meant for you... so then... even if you can't reach me... your memories will live in me forever...

Ayashi No Ceres ~ Manga ~ Reflection Thoughts & Memories... contd...

Tooya forgot about Aya... how does it feel when the person you love so much forgets about you and treats you as if you've just met... when I think of it that way my chest hurts... it must be so so painful... to be forgotten by the person you love most... like hatori... like Momiji's mother... like when Tamahome forgot Miaka... love is so complicated... I remember... I stayed many days without eating anything... never leaving my room... my mind was just blank and all I could do was cry helplessly... "he'll forget about me" "I can never see him again" "he's lost to me forever then why can't I forget him..." I kept thinking these things and more... it hurts so much... the person that you loved, the person that loved you... and they look at you with a stranger's eyes... that would be so very very painful... i feel so choked up...going to chapter 58 now... I hope in the end I hope she finds the place for her heart... I hope no one suffers my fate...

Ayashi No Ceres ~ Manga ~ Reflection Thoughts & Memories...

I started writing offline in notepad since I didn't have the net at that time so I'll just post everything in that order...

1:45 PM after 4 years of searching I finally found the full Ayashi no Ceres Manga... I started downloading in the evening and finished by late night... I don't have the net just now but I want to express what I'm feeling... to put the feeling into words... I want to let the thoughts that cover my mind come out now... I read till chapter 41 till now... Tooya and Aya... haven't I asked the question to myself so many times... how do people do it just for the heck of it or with someone they don't even love... there's no sense to it... the person that touches you if he's notthe one you love... if he's not the one that loves you... it so doesn't feel right...right now reading about Aya and Tooya... I got tearful... I don't belive that... I know... I know... but love is... even if the person you love is entirly different... even if it hurts... even if everyone was against it... being the only one for that person... being the only one in his thoughts... it matters more than anything in the world... when you love someone so achingly much... it's just alright... doesn't matter if it's hard... doesn't matter if there's pain... if that person smiles for you and just for you... then it just covers everything else... isn't love just so very very pure... love is so mch deeper so much more than just doing that... it's so much more... it's so so much more... Yuu Watase must have had someone she loved... I love her work... because the feelings are so real... because that is what love is... I thought I loved Fushigi Yuugi the most... I guess Ayashi no Ceres is on the same spot... Tamahome... isn't love... just to love? itai... mune ga... Tamahome... Tamahome... it hurts so much... but because it's love... it's just this bittersweet pain that I can't rid myself of... no matter how much I cry... the tears won't stop coming... when you love someone this much... this painfully much... Tooya... Aya... Yuuhi... I think... the feelings are so strong... so overwhelmingly strong... arigatou Yuu Watase san... I think... the effect of Fushigi Yuugi just increased more in my heart and Ayashi no Ceres along with it... because I can connect to them.. because I can understand the pain, the helplessness, the desperation... and the love... arigatou... arigatou...

Imadoki ~ Now a Days ~ Manga ~ Refelections & Memories

I finished Imadoki finally ! I read the first Vol 2 years back and it influenced me in a big way, Yuu Watase seems to have a huge effect on me -.-'' so back then when I read the first Vol I searched like crazy to find the rest of it but no results at all, everywhere I looked it just seemed as if only Vol 1 was available, finally yesterday I turned to torrents and I decided to torrent the manga, and when I searched I finally found it all after ages! I was so happy when it finished downloading I was so happy I almost cried *oh yeah! I'm a hardcore Yuu Watase fan :') *
After I read the whole this it just gave a very nostalgic feeling... back when I read it I got totally influenced by Tanpopo's ambitious style, then few months later I started playing Maple Story, one of the firt few people I met there was Sora, AssasinSora was his IGN later he switched to HidanKakzu and he sort of had the Kugyou Kouki personality, I was simply intrigued ! I got along with him better than anyone else and it was fun to be with him but he always sort of had this unbreakable wall around him that hardly ever shook.. heh... sure has been a long time... and no I wasn't in love with him incase you people are wondering, my intentions were just like Tanpopo's only I didn't fall for him later >.> sigh... I am so talking out of topic here -.-'''...

I personally thought Kouki's brother has a very strong personality and also Aoi & Arisa, I think they had really strong characters, I'm gonna end up falling for this manga like I fell for Fushigi Yuugi lol... only I didn't expect it to last just for 5 Vols, coming from Yuu Watase it should have been 10 Vols at least lol... I'll write more over it later <3