Finally the Holidays Start...

After a very hectic, what seemed like a year, finally, the holidays have started. True, they won't last long, it's just one month, that too will be the fasting month so the number of things I can do will be limited. I also decided to keep teaching my ESL classes since I unexpectedly had people showing up at my house asking to be taught during the holidays ._______. I immediately regretted after saying yes since I realised it meant I won't get to slack off and binge watch anime, sleep when I want, wake when I want and in short laze my life away for the month of June. But in a way it's a good thing, now I'll follow a proper time table to an extent. Now the things I need to do during this month...

1. Teach my ESL Class.
2. Make all the lesson plans for the entire year so I don't have to go crazy every month trying to find ways to plan new activities and ways of teaching.
3. I have to make a list of all the anime series I have in a proper alphabetical order in an excel file.
4. Record at least 3-4 song covers.
5. Make a list/index my anime merchandise collection so I know what the heck I even have.
6. Make a few karaoke video (if YouTube fails me) for my anime event.
7. Design at least 10 T-shirts.
8. Design at least 15 Mugs.
9. Make at least 20 Calender.
10. Make a bunch of wallpapers/posters in very high quality so that they can be used for printing.
11. Disinfect my laptop from the virus that has crept in from God knows where.
12. Finish or at least get close to finishing my PennFoster course.
13.  Clean up my room and organise it in such a way that I don't have to stress about cleaning during the year when work starts and I don't have time to even sleep.
14. Make sight words in a decorative and innovative way for my class.
15. List all my anime items on the Facebook Page.
16. Sell all my items from my Jade Dynasty account and hopefully close the account altogether.
17. Update and relist all the items from my account to my blog so people can buy.
18. Perfect my hiragana and get on to katakana.
19. Learn how to do mastering better.

...I pull up this huge list in my half asleep state... I wonder what I'll get if I was actually properly alert and awake -___-;; guess I'm not going to be taking it easy even during the holidays. I WILL, however, complete at least two series and 3 manga which I had been dying to try for a very long time now -.-;;

Time to sleep, to the voice of Susumu Hirasawa telling the story of Byakkoya no Musume.

though the lyrics are ever so slightly off/could be worded better in some parts, I find this video quite breathtaking and matching with the intensity of the song, not to mention of the movie from which the song itself came.

Found an epic Kaito/Kagamine Rin version as well

As a last thought that I got while looking up the videos to add to the post, I so despise when people say "You only like Japanese music because you understand what it's saying, we cannot like it when it's not in our language and we have no idea what it means". SO.NOT.TRUE! I used to have the Flame of Recca and Ninku opening and ending memorised when I didn't even know a word of Japanese. You needn't have a perfect fluency in Japanese to appreciate good music, there are things called subtitles, there are people who're willing to upload subtitled videos to help people who like music and want to understand what is it that's being said in the songs. Japanese music is beautiful, like a multifold story unfolding with each note, like a folklore full of mystery and wonder just waiting to be discovered by someone who'd be as excited listening to it as the one who made it was when he/she made it.

Be a little more open-minded, it's a huge wonderful word outside that you're missing out cause you're not willing to leave your norm and your comfortable, familiar zone.

Starting at a New Class and Finishing leftover Studies ~ Random Talk

So I finally finished the math test and miraculously got a 100. Shocked, cause when it comes to math I'm wonderful at getting lost and confused.

But luckily it's done and over and I don't have to deal with Math again for a while. Thanks, Will, your supportive talk motivated me to actually give it another try ^^

Moving on, I've been reading up on my Kanji and other Japanese studies. Hopefully, by July I'll be able to clear the JLPT N5 and N4 and probably get a decent job in Japan *-*

I'll be going for the Vocal Training class in a little bit, I want to try and see how much I can learn by the end of that course. That being said, I just realised, I've been skipping and hopping around way too many professions and things... I hope eventually one of them leads me to be able to work in Japan @_@...

debating if I should take an hour nap before the class... but what if I can't wake up >w<...

Back Home

I missed out on the fifth week post because of exam and running all over the place buying gifts for people, truly a hectic week.
Now I'm back home. Managed to get here before Ramadan ended and will be able to help with Eid preparation. In a way it was good that my Bangalore trip got cancelled I guess. I was much more needed here.

The question remains however, now what?  I should focus on finishing my arena course and my Penn foster one. I haven't been on Jade Dynasty in forever.  Need to set up a website to sell all the items I have there as well. I wonder if I should quit now. None of the old people seem to be coming back... I cannot reach jsrf anymore which is yet another stressful thing for me, though I try not to think about it. Stressing isn't going to help, better to just try to find a distraction or solution for the time being.  I think a lot changed in me after this trip. I have so much that I need to think about that it frightens me.

I started Usagi Drop that Min recommend long ago on the bus journey from Ernakulam to Angamaly before. I finished it last night when I was awake in pain. It had me thinking about so many things again.  I wonder if I should just try living alone for now... how will I manage such a small child... but I think I can if I try. First to get a job and pass my exams.  I need to increase the qualifications that I hold right now... there's just so much for me to do it's scary...

Nande hitori ni shita no..?  Sabishi deshou, kowakute mo naite ii toko wa mo inakunatta. Kaeru basho wa mou inai. Semete renraku gurai shite yo... atashi anna ni tsuyoku nai mon... shitteru deshou... nanoni nande? Ikusaki wa...makkura da yo... anata wa doko...?

Good Money Earning Site (Mail From My SentBox)

I registered at this site and now I need to reffer people but it doesn't allow inviting via site so have to do the mailing bit ._. I goofed when I registered and put double a in Tamahome T___T I can't belive I did that T___T anyhow... here's the link... it'd help me in a great way if you can register and views some stupid ads for me, won't take long, if you give me even 10 mins of your day each day or every other day I'd be really thankful...

http://bux.to/?r=TaamahomeNoMiko

that's the link... when you register they'll ask who reffered you, put in "TaamahomeNoMiko" yes... Taamahome... *is extremely depressed* cheer me up a bit by helping me out T__T...

Thanks again... I'll be happy if you can forward this mail to your friends and etc, and yes it'll do you good to register here, the site is good earning *still depressed T.T*

My New Net and More~ Random Talk ~ Thoughts and Reflections

Okay, so I got my new net, it's from 12:00 PM till 6:00 PM IST (My Time), a Reliance Card Net, so yeah it's mega slow, a page normally takes around 5 mins to load even, and that too if the page doesn't have a lot of images, it's hard to upload images or anything, I was planning on launching my Fushigi Yuugi site finally after I get net but since it's so laggy and slow it won't let me upload my site to the server *cries*. Anyhow, for now all my posts will be imageless and I know it sucks, I hate it more than anyone else (=.=) shoganai ne... at least it's better than having no net at all (>.>).
For now I'm strugglig with me Moonlight Shadow Creations blog, I bought a domain name for it but I'm unable to make it work and connect, even though my dear friend Naki Chan of www.elezend.com helped me out and gave instructions step by step my brain is so poor that it can't even work even after that and I'm all confused (@.@) Just HOW do I make the stupid blog and domain name connect (T^T)!!! anyhow, I'm gonna make it work no matter what! If I'm gonna get anywhere with my designing career I'm gonna have to work hard and make my Moonlight Shadow Creations work!

So then... these days I'm just lazing about with not much work to do, of course I still have the cooking and stuff but I got a little maid to help me out with stuff so it's not that much of a trouble, I got a great view out of my balconey and it's all green! I'm alone almost all day so pretty much on my own, I spend most the time reading manga, watching animem, reviewing stuff, and making graphics and working on my Fushigi Yuugi site, yeah life's a bit better now ^_^

Oh and I got some great book on Japanese learning ^__^ wooooooh that felt good buying those books in the Book Cafe *hearts* the owner was giving me weird looks when I squeeled over seeing books on Japanese, lol must be a rarity for someone to get this excited over Japanese ref. books ^^;

Gah that feels good to have said all that ^^ until next time ~


OH YEAH! I wanted to say one more thing, To all of you who think you've left me behind, too bad, it's your loss, I'll continue at my own pace, in my own way, never ever giving up, as long as even one person believes in me, as long as I have something or someone I long for and believe in I'll still have a reason to keep moving forward without turning back to look at what I've lost, the people who matter, will never leave me, even if circumstances occur and we're seperated, I'm sure one day things will get better and we'd be able to look back at the hard days and laugh about it, so until then, I'll never give up. To all of you who have supported me throughout this time, arigatou... hontouni arigatou, you have no idea how much it meant to me... arigatou, it was cause you were there that I was able to go on even after all that pain and hardships and tears... arigatou... zettai wasurenai...

On Blog Leave ~

I'm on blog leave sort of... having lots of emotional problems so unable to think much or feel much... or maybe just too much thinking and feeling... dunno... please support me for the while I'm gone... samishii... desu...

Everyone who commented on posts, arigatou! I'll reply to you guys as soon as I feel better, The people in my AnK Blog Club waiting list, I'll add your blogs as soon as I come back okay? I'll try to drop in a post now and again ... Arigatou minna..

I Got Scammed T~T ~ Maple Story Tragedy

Well, this morning when I was playing Maple Story *MMORPG* and I wanted to buy NX a user who was in Ludi Maze PQ said that he'll sell me 25$ worth NX if I pay him 47 Million mesos. SO then we started in parts, he gave me part of the code I gave him part of the money... sigh... and in the end he left 1 letter out and escaped with all my money... now I'm broke as hell, I don't even have enough $$ left in my PayPal to buy mesos or anything, I'm not getting any new projects from anyone... PayPerPost isn't helping me anyways, I've like no way to do anything anymore... and I wanted to gift some stuff to one or two of my closest friends, and give some AP Resets to my sister ... not like I wanted everything for myself... I don't know why, when I never cheated anyone in my life, why is it that I get cheated... now I cannot buy anything, I'm short of money, I'm short of mesos, I'm short of NX and I'm almost out of stuff to sell even T____T no one donates to my blog at all... not even a single $ T___T I'm so very very unloved T____T even the friends to whom $5-$10 is nothing even they don't donate to my site T~T... I'm so very very unloved T_____T I cried an hour after I lost 47 million... it was like my LIFE SAVING !!! I cannot get all that back again T_______T... waaaaaaaaaa I need some job or some project that'd earn me some money or someone should have some pity on me and donate to my blog T____T uwuuu... why do things like this happen only to me T____________T and I'm like 3$ short in PayPal or I could buy some meso till I can earn my own T_______T so not fair...

My Birthday ~ Thoughts & Reflections

My Birthday... went almost like before... every time when I start thinking it changed it just pops up at me again and again and again... my Birthdays really are the worst days for me... I spent 13th at my parents place, with my sisters and was on Maple Story till late, my BFF 0oGenesis0o gave me a friendship ring as an early birthday gift, I was to be honest, delighted, to have a BFF is a dream I always had and it never seemed to come true, close friends? I got tons, BFF? now I do. Then Nihita called me up and wished me like 4 hours before 12 am, I was so happy to hear her... then at 12 am the 14th of June ~My Birthday~ I was fast asleep and Kekati called up from Mumbai to wish me, that made me happy and a bit surprised. Then I got sms from Lee, my sisters, and Nihita after 12 am which I read the next morning, Lee's made me happy the most... was kind of unexpected lol... next day I was able to check orkut and many of my friends had wished me, that was so... I don't know... I was very very happy... some forgot... which was kind of sad since I was expecting from them... heh.. Great Expectations? then back on maple some of my friends had promised to give me NX and they backed out of it saying they don't even have enough for themselves, that was kind of disappointing since I had a lot planned for what I was going to do with it and I wasn't going to spend it all on me either... why promise me in the first place? not like I was asking you for it... you guys came and said that you yourself want to gift me it... anyways... my good old friend Tae San did give me NX but that was for a special event *^^''* so I can't possibly spend it on myself, ( *wails* "I REALLY DID NEED IT DAMMIT T~T SOMEONE GET ME A NEXON CASH CARD T~T" ) then Dorian gave me a Maple Shine Wand *no I'm a staff user though wands are pretty cool, staffs are way more romantic ~_^* and his brother chaos *next day* gave me a Maple Snowboard *yes I truly hate snowboards but that was a gift...* my dear Nii San... who I expected very much to at least wish me said "STFU NOOB!" and left it at that... sigh... I had a bad argument with hub... Kami Kun wished me and his kindness just made me cry even more... i spent the whole afternoon and evening crying alone in my room... what a way to spend a birthday... oh and Imu wished me really really sweetly, one friend who actually wanted to celebrate my being one more year older and noobier. The next day and today the friends who forgot, some of them wished belated wishes, Naki Chan not only wished me so sweetly she also gave me $5 to buy nx in my Paypal via my Donation button ^_^ I was soooo touched... she actually felt how sad I was feeling and tried to make me feel better... arigatou...
I checked into IMVU today and my Aniki *JD* had gifted me a Kimono that I had really wanted, and that too right on 14th! o.o... I thought he had forgotten... I felt so happy... he didn't forget.. and by the end of day I got an sms from Lee that the video that was violating my Amiboshi Wallpapers is removed from Youtube ! I couldn't feel more touched and blessed... arigatou otoutou...

all in all, my birthday didn't go very well, but it could've been worse so I feel grateful that the people who truly cared and remembered aren't just one or two... I still have much to be thankful about ^^;

IMVU ~ Shlawaar Kameez! o.o

Today while browsing for the perfect dress I actually found a Shalwaar Kameez in the IMVU Store o.o I was like "huh! O.O" and then I went and bought it and it looks sooooo kwel ^^ that was a great purchase ^^ and to think I was looking for a cute top to go with a long skirt and what I found beats everything ^^ with matching dupatta and khussa and hjaab ^^ and it looks FAB! hehe *for those of you who don't know what I'm talkng about, Shalwaar Kameez is the normal Indian dress that females wear ^^*

been having net problem cause of a storm here so wasn't able to post much lately T_T