Eid, work, and then some.

Past two days of Eid vacations wasted in fever. Finishing up the work tonight, my first instinct is to sleep or think I can wake up and do this afterwards. But I know for a fact that if I don't do this now, it won't get done, and in the end I'll be in hell. I think, right now, I needed just a little bit of positive something. How much of a difference a kindly voice saying "keep at it, you can do it, you always work hard, you can do this" or something like that can make, I realised that yet again today. I guess, even if you make new friends, the difference of someone who really knows you saying something and of someone who has just gotten to know one side of you, really makes a huge difference.
Back in the gaming days, I still went by that code. The past two years, I couldn't return to it, no matter how much I tried, it was like that part as permanently broken. Today, one more time, I'll be able to try. I'll still somehow pull through. If I survived that time, I can still survive this.

Tatoe donna ni muzukashi koto demo, yatterareru, aa, darekaga miteageru, mitometeageru, atashi no zenryoku wa muda jyanai tte koto wo mata oshietekurete arigatou. Arigatou Lee, kimi no yasashisa ni mata tsukuwareta. Nanka... itsumo osewani natteru yo ne, arigatou, hitori demo, dekiru, tatta hitori demo, atashi no koto shijitekureru hito ga aru nara, yareru.

I get back to work as Suzuki Konomi's Choir Jail pulls at my heart and reminds me that it's my go to song at times like this.

Watashi wo akete, konna kurushisa de nanimo mienai...

#shigoto #hitori #nayami #work #teachersday #teaching #relationships #ひとり #一人 #人間関係 #さびしい #がんばる #ファイト #約束 #じぶん #aloneagain #choirjail #konomisuzuki

Somewhere over the Rainbow...

This is literally my personal rambling so don't read if you don't want to read random incoherent stuff which is going to probably make you want to ask a lot of questions which I probably don't have answers for, or if you don't want to waste time trying to figure out what the hell I'm talking about.


At the start of the holidays, I got stung by a weird honey bee and my hand was almost unable to function properly due to swelling, it's recovered a lot but still somewhat painful. I spent time just being in bed watching anime, even scrolling to read manga was painful. Needless to say, I'm way behind schedule.

I ran into someone online today, just for a few minutes, they talked about old movies in that shortest possible time, and I got reminded of how much I loved watching movies, romcoms mainly. Not the ridiculous ones that are made now (some are still really nice), but more in the like of The Wedding Singer and You've Got Mail and While You Were Sleeping and my all time favourite, The Lake House. somehow, I find that sort of stuff so believable and beautiful. The soft, lovely soundtracks, the gripping BGM, the very beautiful way of making the impossible possible as if by magic. Where people understand each other when they exchange words. Where instant messaging isn't a thing, and people are patient and can wait and genuinely care. Where 'moving on' isn't a thing and people put their heart and soul into making things work, I wonder why people say that it's a girl's thing to watch... Isn't it a wonderful thing to be able to talk and care about each other? Does it make a guy less manly if he's able to devote his life to one woman and pursue her till she's not able to say no cause she believes in his sincerity?
Movies like this remind me of Emma, and of Jane Eyre, of the magic that Cecelia Ahern spins and of the old English Classics that I grew up reading. Why is it wrong to think like that in today's time? Being able to love someone wholeheartedly, is now called a weakness...why? Isn't it the most courageous thing to do? Being able to completely believe in someone and take a chance against the odds is something that should only be limited to books and movies? You'll get hurt, a lot, a lot of times you'll face utter and complete disappointment and despair, but...isn't it all about the silver lining in the end? Even if things don't work out, isn't picking up the pieces again and starting off again, something that should be believed in? Of course, life isn't a fairy-tale (I just wrote fairy tail then had to edit), everything doesn't go as you plan, the other person involved might not see things in the same light as you, but, being afraid of the results before you even start would really not get things anywhere... I feel like, giving up is something that you should do after you've tried everything in your power to make something work.

saisho kara akiramechattara, nanimo hajimaranai kara, korondemo, kizutsuketemo, kokoro ga boroboro ni nattemo, akiramechattara, mou ippo de todokesou na basho made mo todokanai kara... akiramenaide, ganbatte, kitto nanikaga matteru, donna ni kurushii hibi ga attemo, kanashimi no mokou de, zettai darekaga matteru kara, akiramenaide, mou ichidou mae e susume... sono saki wa zettai nanika aru hazu. Maa, koko wa atashi jishin wo hagemasu tameni mo arukedo... ne, atashi ganbatteta ne? saisho kara saigo made, nanimokamo yatte mita deshou? mou yasunde ii no ne? kondo wa dareka atashi wo mitsukete kureru ban dayone?

Finally the Holidays Start...

After a very hectic, what seemed like a year, finally, the holidays have started. True, they won't last long, it's just one month, that too will be the fasting month so the number of things I can do will be limited. I also decided to keep teaching my ESL classes since I unexpectedly had people showing up at my house asking to be taught during the holidays ._______. I immediately regretted after saying yes since I realised it meant I won't get to slack off and binge watch anime, sleep when I want, wake when I want and in short laze my life away for the month of June. But in a way it's a good thing, now I'll follow a proper time table to an extent. Now the things I need to do during this month...

1. Teach my ESL Class.
2. Make all the lesson plans for the entire year so I don't have to go crazy every month trying to find ways to plan new activities and ways of teaching.
3. I have to make a list of all the anime series I have in a proper alphabetical order in an excel file.
4. Record at least 3-4 song covers.
5. Make a list/index my anime merchandise collection so I know what the heck I even have.
6. Make a few karaoke video (if YouTube fails me) for my anime event.
7. Design at least 10 T-shirts.
8. Design at least 15 Mugs.
9. Make at least 20 Calender.
10. Make a bunch of wallpapers/posters in very high quality so that they can be used for printing.
11. Disinfect my laptop from the virus that has crept in from God knows where.
12. Finish or at least get close to finishing my PennFoster course.
13.  Clean up my room and organise it in such a way that I don't have to stress about cleaning during the year when work starts and I don't have time to even sleep.
14. Make sight words in a decorative and innovative way for my class.
15. List all my anime items on the Facebook Page.
16. Sell all my items from my Jade Dynasty account and hopefully close the account altogether.
17. Update and relist all the items from my account to my blog so people can buy.
18. Perfect my hiragana and get on to katakana.
19. Learn how to do mastering better.

...I pull up this huge list in my half asleep state... I wonder what I'll get if I was actually properly alert and awake -___-;; guess I'm not going to be taking it easy even during the holidays. I WILL, however, complete at least two series and 3 manga which I had been dying to try for a very long time now -.-;;

Time to sleep, to the voice of Susumu Hirasawa telling the story of Byakkoya no Musume.

though the lyrics are ever so slightly off/could be worded better in some parts, I find this video quite breathtaking and matching with the intensity of the song, not to mention of the movie from which the song itself came.

Found an epic Kaito/Kagamine Rin version as well

As a last thought that I got while looking up the videos to add to the post, I so despise when people say "You only like Japanese music because you understand what it's saying, we cannot like it when it's not in our language and we have no idea what it means". SO.NOT.TRUE! I used to have the Flame of Recca and Ninku opening and ending memorised when I didn't even know a word of Japanese. You needn't have a perfect fluency in Japanese to appreciate good music, there are things called subtitles, there are people who're willing to upload subtitled videos to help people who like music and want to understand what is it that's being said in the songs. Japanese music is beautiful, like a multifold story unfolding with each note, like a folklore full of mystery and wonder just waiting to be discovered by someone who'd be as excited listening to it as the one who made it was when he/she made it.

Be a little more open-minded, it's a huge wonderful word outside that you're missing out cause you're not willing to leave your norm and your comfortable, familiar zone.

Starting at a New Class and Finishing leftover Studies ~ Random Talk

So I finally finished the math test and miraculously got a 100. Shocked, cause when it comes to math I'm wonderful at getting lost and confused.

But luckily it's done and over and I don't have to deal with Math again for a while. Thanks, Will, your supportive talk motivated me to actually give it another try ^^

Moving on, I've been reading up on my Kanji and other Japanese studies. Hopefully, by July I'll be able to clear the JLPT N5 and N4 and probably get a decent job in Japan *-*

I'll be going for the Vocal Training class in a little bit, I want to try and see how much I can learn by the end of that course. That being said, I just realised, I've been skipping and hopping around way too many professions and things... I hope eventually one of them leads me to be able to work in Japan @_@...

debating if I should take an hour nap before the class... but what if I can't wake up >w<...

Sakurako San no Ashimoto ni wa Shitai ga Umatteiru - Anime Review EP 1 -

 My first Impression upon seeing the name of the series ( A Corpse is Buried Under Sakurako's Feet) was "Ah! finally an anime that looks like it can be a thriller/mystery like Tasogare Otome x Amnesia" and I wasn't disappointed, although, it was for sure a bit different than what I expected. The colours and background art really took me by surprise. I wouldn't call it Makoto Shinkai level, but it's close, very detailed and very beautiful.

We start with Tatewaki Shoutarou, a high school student who is seemingly unaffected by dead animals/bodies, when he finds a body of a dead cat in front of his school, he calmly tries to move it away while the other students are getting creeped out. The reason for him being like this, he states, is because he met

a certain someone. The cat is buried under a Sakura Tree and Shotarou, his friend Imai Haruto, the girl who helped him bury the cat, Kougami Yuriko and his life science teacher, Itsuki Isozaki gather under the tree and talk about the story that "beneath the sakura tree, dead bodies are buried"

Next part, he goes into a beautiful garden to a large house and sees a girl holding a human skull under a Sakura tree

Who he introduces as "The Princess who loves Bones" thus the title of the Episode.

The girl is called Sakurako Kujou, a beautiful and smart woman from a rich family who loves bones of all living creatures to the point that she made it her profession. the girl is an Osteologist.

Shoutarou and Sakurako go to a beach to dig bones up and they come along the skull of a human

Shoutarou comments that human remains are found wherever Sakurako goes.

Sakurako refuses to give up the skull and Shoutarou calls the police *could she get anymore cuter?*

In the end they get in the police car to go to the station to give in the skull to the police, on the way the policeman reveals that this is the third human remain to be found in the area and that apparently there was a double suicide not long ago. Sakurako forces him to stop the car as they pass by the scene and puts out a different theory about the dead bodies that are found there.

I left a lot of things out for the sake of not giving too many spoilers, especially since it's a mystery series. 

My own thoughts on this series are...

1. The beautiful art style. Simply gorgeous, this deserves to be watched in 720p or higher. I simply love how pleasant it to watch this series because of the details and colours used.

Such gorgeous detailing!

2. This reminded me immensely of xxxHolic, the wonderful CLAMP series I'm in love with. What with the butterfly references, to the catch phrases, "saa, nazou wo tokou jyanaika" to Yuuko's "anata no negai, kanaimashou" 

to how much she looks like Yuuko, even the relationship between her and Shoutarou so far, to how she calls Shoutarou 'shounen' exactly in the way Yuuko called Kimihiro Watanuki, "Watanuki". Everything reminds me so much of the series. When I looked up the seiyuu's apparently Sakurako's seiyuu is same as XxxHolic's Himawari.

Closely looking at it, even her hairstyle is very similar to Yuuko's

.

It's like looking at a more nowadays look of Yuuko lol.
I am really looking forward to watching more of this series. It looks really promising.

This Month's Selected Anime ~ Natsume Yuujinchou + First EP Review.

After almost 8 years of following this series, and after finally getting the long awaited fifth season, I'm going to be dedicating the rest of this month to all things Natsume Yuujincou, otherwise known as Natsume's Book of Friends.

Even though, it seems like your typical orphan boy who got some special power/powerful friends who help him, type of story, when you actually start watching, you end up realizing just how beautiful the series really is.

The story revolves around Takashi Natsume, an orphan boy who has the ability to see that which others cannot, namely, Ayakashi, otherwise known as Spirits or monsters. As a child he was passed around between his relatives and treated quite horribly because the people who couldn't see anything always thought he was making things up for attention

. Natsume now lives at the house of Shigeru and Touko Fujiwara, the kind. distant relative couple that have finally adopted him. He lives in the same town where his grandmother once used to live. Natsume Reiko, who was also able to see Ayakashi and was isolated because of that.

In the first episode, Natsume finds, when being chased by an Ayakashi,

a cat youkai who had been sealed.

 He accidentally breaks the seal and finds out the cat ayakashi once knew his grandmother. He tells Natsume about Reiko and asks him about the Yuujincou (Book of Friends).

Natsume goes home and finds it in Reiko's old stuff that had been passed down to him. The cat youkai chases him home and demands he hand over the book. More Youkai come chasing after him for the book

but the cat youkai, who asks Natsume to call him Nyanko Sensei,

helps him and teaches him how to return the yokai's name to them. In the end Natsume returns the name of the youkai

and in doing so, sees a vision of Reiko with the youkai.

In the end Nyanko Sensei and Natsume come to the conclusion that Natsume will return the names of the youkai that are written in the book and if he dies while doing so, Nyanko sensei will inherit the remaining book.

The story itself might feel quite plain in the beginning, but, once you start watching, the background music, the simple art style, the soft more on the pastel side colours and most of all, the heartwarming depth of the story really gets to you. I love how they selected the voice cast, none of them are loud or annoying sounding. The opening and ending songs

match beautifully with the theme of the series. You get to see the main close people to Natsume, and the youkai that will be appearing all through the season

. The subtle light hearted humor, the just right slice of life feel and the perfectly paced episodes leave you wanting more. You don't feel rushed and you don't feel like the episode is dragging on, everything perfectly connects. Be prepared with a box of tissues, this series have a tendency of tugging at your heartstrings when you least expect it. I've had people walk in on me when I'm watching and sobbing non stop, and then giving me weird looks for it ._.

Coming from the creator of Hotarobi no Mori e/Into the Forest of the Fireflies, if you guys have watched that, you'd understand what I mean when I say Natsume Yuujinchou is a lot more deeper and full of feels than that.

On a scale of 1-10 this is one series I'd give a 10/10 every single time. To me, this anime is something everyone should watch at least once in your life. It shows what true strength, true kindness is like.



Bonus : Here's the Opening video~

Site Update: Layout and Design Change~

Since I was stuck in bed with a stupid viral fever and pretty much sleeping or watching anime for the most part, I decided that I won't get this much free time anytime soon, and changed the long since overdue site style.
I changed pretty much everything to do with the layout and how the site theme/colour was. In honor of the winter finally starting, I'm going with a winter stormy night sort of theme. The moon picture is my own, that I took during the super moon, everything else as well, apart from the Fushigi Yuugi part of the image that I put on the banner. I was going to use this banner at first :

then I remembered my loyalty to Tamahome and went with that instead.

I changed the favicon as well to a blue butterfly and my TnM instead of the brown butterfly one. This was a complete overhaul indeed @__@...

The other thing I'll be changing soon on this site is that I won't keep a blogroll. It's better off not having inactive bloggers linked to me who never updated in several years. Instead, I'd like to stick with like minded bloggers.

I also decided to do my posts in a theme order. The theme order isn't 100% decided yet so I can't really put all details here. I will however, make weekly anime graphics. Wallpapers, Icons, FB Covers, YouTube Covers and the like. They're free to use as long as you're linking back to me.

I'll also, be doing Seiyuu Sunday. Every Sunday (I will skip if I'm sick or too busy so sorry in advance for that!) I'll do a Seiyuu profile, bringing together all the different sort of roles, and if they acted in my fave anime series or which roles were the best in my opinion etc. Hoping to spread a bit more awareness for how vast the voice acting world is.

I'll be doing my own personal sort of posts as well since, this 'is' my blog which I started to just ramble about different things. But I'll put them under a different label and that won't get between the anime aspect of the site.

All in all, with all the teaching and everything else going, I've been too busy to actually sit back and enjoy anime like I used to, so this fever was a welcome change after all.

For now, I'll go look up more material!

Please comment below if you think the text is too hard to read or the image above would look better in the banner than the one I have up right now. All comments welcome :)

My Attempt at Super Moon Pics

Special Thanks to my sister for going on the roof at the dead hour of the night :x...

What happens when I try to take pics with a cam I hardly used since I bought it? This:

Taken with Panasonic Lumix DMC - LZ20

Then I tried with my better Cam, my Galaxy S4 Zoom (thanks Jose I love it and you're awesome for giving me such a great gift :P )

Then since I wasn't satisfied with just the pics from yesterday so I went up again today and took this one again with the Galaxy S4 Zoom:

I'm so in love with how the craters are showing ❤

いつか、シンデレラが - Someday Cinderella will..~ Cover review

I first heard this song in a Kagamine Len version when I was looking through more Vocaloid videos on YouTube. The song was touching, as Len's soft songs usually are, but what really captivated me was the fact that, the art was so breathtaking, and beautifully expressing the feelings that the words were trying to convey. I think this is the first time I have been hit with a Kagamine song this hard after Aku no Meshitsukai.

That was two days ago. Today, when I was finally done with the day and tried to search through YouTube to find this song again so I can listen to it while I fall asleep, I found a cover by one of my favourite YouTube cover singers.

SirHamnet : Click here for channel~

The Japanese Cover: When I saw this, I was like, "Omg! I have to check this out I didn't know this person actually made a cover of this song!". So when I went to listen... I got the whole feels again ._. ... by the end of the video I was crying yet again. And now, it's been an hour already and I have the song on repeat and I'm constantly listening to it as I write this post.
I think, out of all this person's wonderful covers, this one touched me the most.

And if that wasn't enough... they made an English cover as well @_@...

The English Cover: The English version is also just as beautiful. The lyrics match the video and are very close and precise to the original Japanese version. Can you believe this person made both these versions? so amazing.

I'll be downloading both the songs and they'll be a new and constant addition to my Music player.

Please support the singer by subscribing and liking the videos,



=Hitorigoto=

kono douga mitara, nanka kare no koto mata omoidashiteshimatta, ima wa mou ano hito ga soba ni inai kedo, mae wa zutto kono douga no Len no mama atashi wo nagusamete kureta hito datta. Donna kanashii koto ga attemo, kare dake ga itsumo kiite kureta. damatta mama, atashi no namida ga tomaru made kitto soabni itekureta hito datta. Itsumo, atashi no irubasho datta. kono juunigatsu ni nattara, mou ichinen ne, kimi wa atashi to wakaretakara... demo ne, dore dake ganbattemo, anatano koto ima ni mou, wasurerarenai yo. Mou kigasumu made nakasete kureru, soba ni iru hito wa mou inai... douka, modotte kure...

Servamp Manga Chapter 10 - 35 ~Thoughts and Reflections~

Updated last night at 2:22 AM my time, I saw it early in the morning, and it's already over... While I was reading the last chapter I had this sickening feeling that I'm gonna have to wait and it was true T__T... since they JUST did a huge update, there's no way they'll update it again so soon T__T...

Servamp so far is going beautifully. I think people should really read this manga. I once again am presented with the many options, to do or not to do. in the end, life is just made out of the choices we make, good or bad, which leads us to where we are in time right here right now. The choices we make for us, the choices someone else's hand forces on us, when I think about it, they're still the choices that we could have chosen not to make.

I wonder, is a child to be blamed for the choice an elder person decides for him? Set up in an atmosphere where saying no is an instant road to endless suffering, physically or mentally, what does a child choose? Don't all choices depend on the people making them? presenting the same choices to two different type of people who grew up in different type of atmosphere, do they still bear the same results? Some choose to run away, some look away, and some follow through, but is it really a choice we make ourselves? How do we know, which choice was the one we truly made, which was the one that we were lead to believe that we're making and wasn't really ours? But then, the person who said "I'll do it" the person who said "I won't" would at the end of the day, still be you. So then who actually made the choice?

My choice of staying home today and finishing reading Servamp instead of attempting to go to gym even though I'm still weak from the week long fever, what exactly would have changed if I had chosen to go? would I have I had a life changing encounter? would I have met people or seen things that would change the way I see things? Or would I have just another day of workout and coming back home to my everyday life? I chose to stay here and read because I strongly felt that this manga has something in it that moves me... People have to live with their choices. I want to live with mine, not the choices I have to make because others want me to to make it, but the ones I make for myself, good or bad, if it's something I chose, then I have to live with it or fix it by myself.

Just because you're grown up doesn't necessarily mean you're wise or mature, I think, growing up means accepting yourself for who you are and moving on.

Few days ago, one of my friends got picked on and badmouthed a lot over the internet just cause he was selected for a big competition and won, where others who were trying to manipulate the people running the contest, didn't.  I thought about it for a long time while he was in the argument with the person, I could't see what they were talking about since it was a private chat, but I thought for a long time, Why? Why does he have to suffer just because he was good enough and worked hard to achieve something a lot of people were working towards. That doesn't really mean the others were bad, it's just he was better than the rest simply put. Does that mean you have to hate him for that? does that make you look better when you try to make him look bad? Don't people see how ugly they appear to the other person when they talk ill about someone just out of spite without putting in the extra effort that someone else did? So what if someone else won? Next time work more, work harder, put in your best effort, and work towards fixing what you lack. I don't think hating someone or trying to degrade someone just because they did better than you, helps you improve anything. People need to move on and realize that only by working on something just as hard, or even harder than the person they envy, can they actually get somewhere.

I wish people would actually try to understand themselves first before trying to lash out at others ._. ...

Servamp Manga - Chapter 1-9 - Thoughts and Reflections ~

since I usually just watch the first episodes of onging series to get the feel of the voices and etc, I did the same with this one. After watching the first episode I switched to the manga, took a while to read just 9 chapters cause there was a lot going on and I didn't really have the chance to read, however, I'm glad I did. I'm really hoping that the anime picks up where the manga stopped. I think this series is somewhat similar to Natsume Yujinchou, heavily focused on the feels. I love how it steadily introduced characters and the backstories, and how you can relate to them cause of the super deep detailing, I haven't had this much feels since Natsume Yujinchou and Fruits Basket. They really need to update the manga and I really need to be able to read Japanese soon -.-;...

The way it was for Sakuya and Mahiru, I wonder if in real life friends actually think like that about each other? People usually change after a small conflict, for the sake of greed, for their own benefit, and for many different reasons. As I read the last two chapters, I kept thinking back on how many, many friends from the Maple Story times till now, I've believed in who have let me down... I wonder if it's really that easy for people. I wonder why I was never able to do that myself, so many times when I was told that the person I was going around doing so much for, is laughing at me behind my back, or is just using me, why did I keep on believing in them only to get back-stabbed later on. I still don't know why people change, it's already been 10 years +, I'm older but none the wiser. Even now, the people I called friends, I believed in them and truly thought of them as such, and 10 years later, it still hasn't changed. People still use me and I still get shocked when I learn how they felt about the relationship was never the same as me. Even now, I still end up getting attached, getting close, and getting hurt, but I still feel, it's better to be able to believe in people than doubting them from the start. Maybe my thinking style is really silly for this sort of world that I live in where people see each other as something to use or a stepping stone, but I think, I believe, that even if 99 out of 100 people that I believed in, change on me and betray me, even if I find one person, the one and only person would be worth going through all that suffering cause that one person would be the person who'd actually see me and feel for me as I do for them. My roommate in Kerala used to say something around the lines of "people are only together to take advantage of each other and to use each other, no need to get attached and no need to get close, once you're done with what you're there for, each will go their own way". But see, true as that might be, maybe someone doesn't feel like that, maybe someone out there would actually want someone they could depend on and open up to, who'd do the same for them, I don't think everyone in the world is that selfish and that disbelieving, I don't think there's no hope for this world, and I don't think people are stepping stones. 

I'm thankful to have friends who've helped keep my faith strong, Maddy, Rell, thank you.

Chihayafuru ~ Anime Quote ~

I feel better now, I will get through this. I just have to do what I don't want to until it enables me to reach the point where I can do what I truly want. Anime, really is the best ^^

ここから さき え。。。From here on, what should I do?

I got my CertTESOL certificate today. I did good considering I had no practical teaching experience so I'm happy with my grade. I was expecting much worse ^^:

Then, my favorite Youtube Idol JefferzKM tweeted a song from a new anime that I think hasn't even started airing yet, and I'm yet again, all confused. I realize again and again, that is where my passion truly lies. I direct my attention towards different things, more practical things, but I'm pulled by even the smallest thing from this side... hon'nosukoshi demo, miraretara kokoro ga yurete, hikareteshimau... what should I do to be practical while being true to myself?

I get the, 'act your age' line all the time but, how do you behave like a grown up? My roommate in Kerala also said similar things, but I wonder, what does it mean to be a grown up? otona tte nan deshou? just because you're older, do you have to rip apart yourself and pretend to be something you're not? I get that once you're older, have responsibilities and things to consider before doing things, and there are certain priorities in life. But, why can't we be ourselves while doing that? I get shunned a lot for my passion for anime and the much I'm into Japanese language and culture. Just because I'm not a usual Indian person, how does it make me any less grown up?

I like making anime style graphics.
I like singing Japanese songs.
I like watching anime and reading manga.
I like Vocaloids.
I like reading about Japanese culture and history.
I like experimenting with cooking instead of making traditional food all the time.
I like the rain and the sky and night time view of places.
I like listening to youtube covers of anime song and different Japanese songs.
I like finding new creative things.
I like photoshop and paint-sai.
I like traveling and checking out new places.
I like adventures.
I like discovering new things and exploring.
I like finding talented people and feeling happy that people can be so creative.
I like the smell of the earth after rain and the smell of the air before it rains.
I like books.
I like music, especially Japanese music.

I don't like clothes shopping that takes forever.
I don't like having a whole army of bags to match every outfit, two three that go good with different occasions are enough.
I don't like backstabbing girl talk.
I don't like praising people without meaning it.
I don't like talking to people who have a closed mindset about things.
I don't like people who don't open up and expect me to.
I don't like dull, non creative things.
I don't like muddy roads.
I don't like people who question everything just to annoy people.
I don't like people who criticize others or judge others without knowing their circumstances.
I don't like the fact that I can't go on the roof at night anymore.
I don't like the tall buildings and city lights that make it hard to see the stars at night.
I don't like being a stick in the mud and following exactly what everyone else is doing.
I don't like being unable to choose how my life turns out, but then again, who can...

Inside my head, everything is a jumbled mess.

I don't want to stay in my hometown but I don't have a choice otherwise. I want to go teach and live in Japan or South Korea... this isn't my place to be, this isn't the life I want to choose, and yet...

I have a new teaching job, probably starting in August here in my own city. I don't particularly want to do it. It's not a bad job, but it's not what I want to do.
If only I had more time, if only I could change something about my life, if only life was not so unfair.
I want to continue my cover singing on Youtube. I don't care if I'm an insignificant nobody compared to the other amazing singers, it is what makes me happy. I love doing that. I want to translate more songs. Write more. Get the time and atmosphere so I can read more of Min's poetry. I want to make more beautiful pictures in photoshop. I still have to learn katakana and kanji. Why is there so much that I want to do and yet barely any chance or time to be able to do it... jinsei tte..fukoheina mono desu ne...

AHHHHHHHHHH whatever =.= ... I'll just go make some graphics that always helps -.-;

Kerala Fourth Week -Thoughts and Reflections-

As the time to leave draws closer, I keep thinking back to what I felt when I first came here. I'm thankful to Shattik for making me experience this. Truly, I have ways to go before I can really learn to be like everyone else. The majority of the students, if not all, are here with the mindset that once the course is over they don't really have to talk to each other or put up with each other... I wonder if I'm the only naive one that thought that this would be a great chance to get to know people from different places and different backgrounds?

I had fever since yesterday, right now I'm sitting at home working on my Learner's Profile and after that my Material Assignment and the lesson for Monday. There's a dead silence in my apartment. To the suffocating point. I wonder why people cannot look at each other as just people instead of labeling them as so or so. Maybe, if they accepted people for who they are, maybe, just maybe, things would go better for everyone. If there's an argument, isn't it better to just let go of the things and move on instead of holding a grudge and thinking that things can't get better? I wonder if I'm too naive still. Even so, I want to get along with everyone, if you could sacrifice some bit of your ego and just smile at the other person, things should be able to work out. But then, there's the part of the other person that doesn't want to give in... I still don't know how to change that. Mom used to say "you can only control yourself, you cannot control how others think or behave", I see how it works out in the real world. Even though, I've gone through this same experience during my gaming years, still, I still want to believe that if someone is sincere the feelings do get through. Maybe not all the way, maybe not at once, but it does, in time it does. The people I want to reach to, I don't know what sort of hardships they had to go through since they usually don't want to talk about it, but I know that I want to understand them and get to know them better. I still don't know how to reach out to someone who's closed themselves, but maybe if I keep working on it, little by little, maybe we can come to an understanding or maybe they'll learn that not everyone is out there to take advantage of you.

When I leave here, I want to be able to be friends with everyone, be in contact even after we go our own ways, of course it won't be like it is now, but still, maybe something will remain. Not everything is dark and black, maybe somewhere, if you try to search for it long enough, there's still light, there's still hope... sekai wa, tsuteta mon jya nai kara, doryoku sureba, nanikaga kawareru hazu. For sure, if you work hard enough, something could change. For now, I don't want to change my way of thinking, I might be naive and I might be silly for thinking this way, but I still want to believe in the better part of people. One day for sure, people will be able to believe in each other.

Birthday in Kerala! I love my classmates!

With my last week's post unfinished and halfway ready to publish, I've been so busy I haven't been able to even finish and publish it, I'm writing this post knowing full well I have a big class to take tomorrow and I should sleep. But I feel like if I don't write this up right now, when I'm feeling the happiness so strongly, I might forget later on, the feeling of today.

Earlier the day one of my friends trued talking to my classmate trying to apparently do a surprise birthday party for me and wanted to talk to one of my classmates, who in turn refused to talk and said he didn't believe in stupid childish things like that (you know who you are >.>). I was feeling quite sad thinking that maybe I'm the only one immature who still thinks doing things for friends like that is fun.
My classmate had a severe toothache all day in class, we were all worried. Today's was a tough class with exams approaching and projects due. So, after having a super sleepy day, where I almost fell asleep thrice in class, I was all but passed out at my laptop, my roommate Manali ran in saying Vinod, the classmate who had a toothache is in severe pain and we should go check up on him. I got up got dressed and stepped out of the room, only to find all my classmates (the ones who live in the same building) were gathered in the room, there was a cake in the middle, and a huge candle next to it. THEY threw me a surprise birthday party T__T... I was so astounded I didn't even know what to say or how to react >.<!! Heck, even now I'm speechless... Vinod said, quite happily "why should I listen to the friend of yours when we were already planning this on our own" THESE PEOPLE ARE NUTS T__T this was such a huge shock in a BIG positive way >.< I'm going to be able to do a great class tomorrow.

Thanks Fatima, Yuvraj, Tania, Creshell, Graeme, Christine, Vinod and THANKS SOOOO Much Manali! The best roommate anyone could ever ask for >.<! You guys made this day the best memory for me in Kerala, when I thought the beach trip would be the most amazing one, you guys gave me something so special, I don't even have enough words to express it. Thank you. So much, so very much.

I can't thank you guys enough. I truly from the bottom of my heart, am happy I came here and met you all wonderful people.

Thanks for the beautiful pictures Fatima and Yuvraj ^0^

Ayaka's Okaeri -おかえり- Cover with Eng-Romaji-Japanese Sub

So... this is basically my first cover, and the first video I subtitled like this after singing it. This is also the first time I'm daring to upload my cover of something on Youtube. I previously used to make AMV's and upload those but making covers and uploading them is a whole new scary experience. I finished this overnight so I can't say it's the best result, but since it's just the first time, I'm hoping I'll get better with time. I'm not a professional singer, nor have I ever gotten singing lessons, so cut me some slack if I sound absolutely horrible :P

About the lyrics, I got from www.jpopasia.com but I found the translations off a bit so I went and did some edits where I thought I couldn't stand it. I tried my best to keep it as close to the original translation as I could but yeah... some parts BADLY needed editing... If there are any problems with the translations let me know or feel free to use the subbing option provided on here.

Why this song? Because, I was first introduced to Fushigi Yuuhgi back in year 2000 when it aired on AXN in India, I fell in love with it, read the manga, found Yuu Watase sensei, then read all her other manga there were. Among them was Zettai Kareshi/Absolute Boyfriend, which really grew on me, I later found out there was a Dorama on it, which although quite different from the Manga, was still really amazing. This song was the Ending track for the Drama. I got introduced to Ayaka through this drama. I can't sing as beautifully as her but I tried my best!
I also made an English cover for this song but I haven't added any music or anything to it yet so I'm just keeping it for now.

I'd love if anyone is able to suggest to me some good video editing software that specialize in subtitles, I used Adobe Premiere Pro for this, but since I don't have the software down 100% I had quite a lot of problems with it x.x.. I didn't want to just upload the song with some cutesy picture with lyrics in description cause that's really confusing to people who're not into Japanese or don't want to read separately. If possible I'd like to know what software was used to make this video :  www.youtube.com/watch?v=dY0Ao24rt-Q , the user is banned from Youtube so I can't reach them to ask, but it looks so perfect for making subs...

Lastly, as usual, I don't own the music, the song, or the lyrics, the video is made as just a fan cover and all rights of the original song/music/lyrics belong to Ayaka and her production company Warner Music Japan. No copyright infringement is intended by this video. The only thing I own is my voice.

Anime Quote - Escaflowne - Allen Schezar

Gonna start posting anime quotes that I design myself ^^ I've been thinking for a long time that I should but never really got around to it.. so to start off... my favorite from Escaflowne :

"hito wo shinjiru to iu koto wa toki ni ikusa ni nozomu yori yuuki no iru koto kamo shirimasen"
"Somtimes it takes more courage to believe in someone than to war"

Episode 10 -  Visions of Escaflowne - Allen Schezar.

Click to make the picture bigger.

I made it in a standard 800x600 pixel size. The pictures are from the screenshots of the anime opening song.